The Partner Paradox

Good day to you all, dear readers.

Today I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind awhile now: the use of the term "partner" to refer to one's significant other.

In my younger years, I thought it was a term used exclusively by mature gay couples. Nowadays I hear it being used by couples of every age and orientation, to which I could not be more pleased! The thing is, I don't use the term, and, truthfully, have a bit of an inexplicable aversion to using it. My boyfriend Patrick, who is thirty-four, expresses a similar sentiment.

As I mentioned, growing up I can only remember the term being used by older gay men, both in media and in my personal life. Particularly where American media is concerned, I always took it as a way to say, "Since you say we can't legally call each other husband, we'll use this term as a way to show that our relationship is just as legitimate." Due to this, I suppose I've always been under the misconception that you have to be of a certain age or have been in a relationship for a certain period of time in order to be considered "qualified" to use the term. (Or take part in some sort of mystic initiation rite including a decorative dagger, an altar, and some sort of unlucky animal.) Recently, however, several friends my age - gay and straight - have casually used the term . Still, I feel no more qualified to use it myself than I did in the past.

My boyfriend and I contently call each other just that: boyfriend. But with "partner" becoming more widely used, I begin to wonder if perhaps I'm missing out on some great opportunity. There is a small, niggling part of me that wonders if when people hear me refer to Patrick as my boyfriend, they deem our relationship infantile or less worthy than those that would say partner. Are we being excluded from some wonderful, exclusive club? Do we get 10% off at all the best restaurants and clothiers if we join? Are we granted are very own private yacht? Who the hell knows?!

Perhaps one day I'll awake and intuitively know that is the day I begin referring to Patrick as my partner, and we'll drink tea by the fireplace whilst listening to classical music, occasionally catching one another's eye, basking beatifically in the knowledge that we are...partners blah blah blah. Until that time, I'll happily call him my boyfriend, because I am fortunate to have him in any capacity!

Ponder and tell me what you think.

Until next time, dear reader!